We don’t probe our depths readily. Naturally we’re drawn toward light,
so we prefer to avoid the dark shadows, and uncomfortable waters.
It’s impossible to resist the ever-shifting currents of life.
Sometimes they propel us into unfathomed realms.
Unforeseen ailments can suddenly shake and shatter our world.
We may even be obliged to face the natural process of death head-on.
There’s unexpected joys too; a simple meet up may evolve into a beautiful friendship.
The untaken path may reveal amazing life-changing experiences.
The random encounter may become the touch-stone of a life.
We are mostly less in control than we want to believe.
Joy on the surface may be swept aside by an unpredicted storm.
Painful challenges may transform us into wiser more compassionate folks.
There are all types of aches in this life, none quite like
the grief of a heart rent without warning. A risk-free existence: a loveless life.
Emotional detachment keeps one safely on the surface, never fully in the water.
Still, life’s uncanny synchronicities drift us into each other
Living love is a strange contradiction: Drawing us to connect with others by encouraging us to let go of ourselves, dive in;
Then maturity compels further us to loosen attempts to control our beloved;
and finally, we’re asked to let go utterly in accepting life’s circular flow
Within genuine love, shared compassion doesn’t grasp, demand, or gloat.
It’s all the small things, really, that make the intimacy
so very potent.
Eyes discovering new colors in the other’s eyes;
tender smiles at life that needed no words;
hugs that spoke volumes.
To let go means painful losses, in many ways.
Within this transition, sometimes the lost friendship
may cut deepest.
Passages through our swirling dark nights of the soul disorient us,
with its unsee-able bottom. It disrupts our bearings,
can feel endless, make our horizon seem lost.
Mending a heart and recovering a friendship
requires patience and time --
like waiting out the winter thaw.
No matter your earnest, hard transitional work,
your eager readiness
to again walk in the warm spring sun.
All your sincerest efforts can not
make the friendship blossoms come forth
before their time.
Only an arrogant fool
he can rush the seasons forward.
Despite your brave acceptance
of the not wished for new dynamic,
where you now will play a lesser part.
The focus on your own discomfort
can cloud the awareness of your heart
to the struggles of your befriended.
Make you disregard their own most challenging journey,
begun well before your brief appearance.
Mountains of old and arduous days still loom large.
Your petty list of questions, doomed before begun, a vain attempt
to order what can’t be resolved by discreet answers.
The questions are to be lived, not answered.
Worse—Your pressing rationality only drives the fragile unknowable spring
into hiding; delays or diminishes it.
Another painful lesson in selfishness and humility.
Was it your impatience and fear of the familiar aloneness,
or was it truly the uncanny fates indirectly prompting you to act just now?
Living courageously vulnerable, is not guaranteed to save your float from a deep dive.
Kismet? Perhaps. No matter, the dynamic affects at least two souls.
True friendship isn’t the fruit of a one-sided push, or some assertive fixing,
rather, it thrives on attentive deep listening, allowing space, and affording time.
Discerning the whispers of the heart, soul, and genuine spirit, from
the fears and desires of the selfish mind
Is no easy thing.
Friendships require acceptance, sincerity, honesty,
open hearts, and tenderness, always,
in all ways.
The depths our soul knows this. Yet,
the impatient insecurity of a headstrong, not fully-healed heart
will find ways to logically justify its willful actions.
It’s understandable really, being hungry, wanting
to recall even a hint of the unique magic
so intrinsic to the sharing of our one brief life with another.
Looking to another however, to ease one’s own discomfort
inevitably mires both, plunges the floats
below the surface, into those shadowy waters
To emerge and grow, two challenges:
Embrace one’s own foibles and endless imperfections;
Smile lovingly and find beauty within the painful lessons.
Even within these dark depths
there are glimmers of Light, and joy
Shimmering from both spirit above and soul below.
If one can be still, long enough, let go fully enough,
float fearlessly and really trust the wisdom of the ancient river,
in its own fateful time, the warm embrace of friendship will glow anew.